Pet Loss and grief

We needed some time for the loss to settle. We needed some space to accept... accept accept.... Except I don't think there's enough space for that. I don't think there's enough time for it to settle. Canine mega-esophagus is a brutal heartless condition that steals fur babies from their homes and carries them off without prejudice. Without regard to breed, without regard to age and without regard to how much they are loved and wanted. 

She had started to decline. 

Upon reflection it had been working its way to the bottom, her quality of life, for about a month. On November 2nd we came to the slow realization...after of weeks of denial... that the medicine wasn't working anymore.

Several discussions, several appointments, several heartfelt conversations and side long glances at each other through her coughing pushed us to the edge of a choice we did not want to make.

When dogs receive a diagnosis of canine mega esophagus the life expectancy is 90 days. She had been fighting for 3 years and that sounds like a lot of time but it's not. Not to me. It's a breath, a hyphen in life. A pause. 3 years is nothing.

On November 3rd our girl CC crossed the rainbow bridge in the loving arms of her family.

She is so loved. 

I hope when I reach the twilight of my life and my eyes close to the last sunrise I see that I will hear the sound of her distant barking, calling me to meet her at the foot of the bridge.

Only this time she will hear the sound of my voice through her once deaf ears and she will wag the tail that she was not born with and there will be no coughing and no struggling to breathe and she can eat as much as she wants and she will sleep peacefully through the nights. 

CC MAY2015-NOV2023